Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to another addition of...

There are two things I just want to say before we delve deeper into my sofa.

1. NO furry animals were harmed in the making of this page.

2. Have a bucket handy just in case your guts are not as strong as u think they are

DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU!!!!

So relax get comfortable on my sofa were all just here for the ride…
but who knows if you’ll come out the other side?

I’d just like to start this presentation saying that if you see this sign DON'T DUCK!

Please slow right down, we wouldn’t want this to happen to any one…else

Tut Tut… this is the last time he takes his girl friend on a duck hunting trip.

One thing I keep hearing about women is that they are better drivers than men take a look at this picture and tell me if you agree…

ROAD KILL!!!! And she’d only just passed her driving test…

So many people in this world who want to kill themselves, ok they might have a bad lifestyle and life is such a drag, but hey, it can only get better….right?

Nope, guess I was wrong.

I read a letter from someone who kept going on about “I’m going to commit suicide tomorrow” and that “you will all miss me when I’m gone”. The only reason she kept writing these letter is because she wanted attention, which people gave her enough of but to be honest, but we won't miss her when she's gone. We are going to dig a deep hole, throw her in it, cover you up and forget about you! And you know what she’s still writing those stupid letters. The last one she wrote to me said that she was going to run the London marathon. I told her that she’d get athletes foot but she didn’t believe me and guess what look at her foot now…

…….Ok she didn’t run the London marathon and didn’t get athletes foot but I feel sorry for this guy who probably doesn’t have a foot anymore.

HAD ENOUGH YET????

Come on if this guys still here keep scrolling down!

You know what the problem with this country is? Illegal immigrants trying to smuggle themselves in. 1000's each year make their way to unemployment heaven looking for a cheap ride.

These guys could use a bit more practice…

AND SHE WAS SO YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL......

Hey this guy looks like the Toxic Avenger, maybe he is but where's his mop? Probably been used to mop up his BRAINS!!!

Hmmm I think I’m going to leave you now for a short while to watch this clip (click here)

Think about what you have just seen and remember not to swerve when you see small animals crossing the road and maybe in a while there will be another...

COUCH OF DOOM!

Or if you have any problems just talk to Ernie here

He was totally dedicated to road saftey.

Goodbye...........................

And drive back home safely.